So you might be thinking, "Breakdown? Your car broke down?" Nope...I broke down last night..yes, me. No, I didn't break down and eat some chocolate (that I'm not supposed to eat), but I guess you could say I had a mental break down. I like to think of myself as a strong person. At times, I am strong, but most of the time I'm not. Last night, emotions and lies overwhelmed me. Every second I would have a new emotion. I've never felt that way before...it was not a fun feeling. Part of it is that my treatment is killing some bacteria and releasing toxins in my brain so I kinda go a little crazy (haha I have an excuse! jk ), but the other part is that I am overwhelmed by so much. If I had a list of things that are overwhelming me, they could probably line a football field...well, maybe not that long, but you get the picture. So enough about my break down...I'm not sure, but I don't think I am the only person who has break downs. Many people may think that break downs show that you are weak. Last night, I did feel weak. The truth is that we are weak. It may not seem like a good thing, but it actually is...yes, I know you are probably thinking, "You're kidding, right?" No, I'm not kidding. The reason why being weak can be a good thing is that God is strong. He can be our strength. It's hard to stay strong on our own. I was trying to stay so strong for so long, but I couldn't stick with it. I'm weak. Am I proud of it? I should be, because God is my strength. He is the only person that can be strong 24/7. Isaiah 40:28-31 says, "Have you
not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator
of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is
unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he
increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary,and young men shall
fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint." Well that's proof that we our weak, but God is our strength. What a great promise! We must wait on the Lord and trust in Him that He will make us strong.
So back to the break down...when we have break downs, remember it's okay for us to cry and to feel weak, BUT we MUST remember that as long as we wait for God, He will be strong for us.
Many blessings :)